


The Weirdest Bloody Ice Cream Shop

by mi_entero_mundo



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Frozen Yoghurt, M/M, i'm not british but i pretended i was when I wrote this, meet cute, sorry for discrepancies i really tried
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 10:23:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10942539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mi_entero_mundo/pseuds/mi_entero_mundo
Summary: Harry made eye contact with Lou and noticed his eyes were very blue.“Well…” Harry started. “Because you have the same name as this shop. It’s a shop rule that everyone named Lou gets free fro-yo.”Lou's lips turned up very slightly at each end. He was rather pretty when he wasn’t yelling at Harry.“Neat rule,” Lou said. “Too bad my name is Louis.” And with that Louis (not Lou) shoved a £10 note in the tip jar and walked out of Lou’s Frozen Yoghurt with his probable sister. Probably forever.Harry sighed and looked at his watch. He had two hours left before he could close up, and, as it would turn out, he thought about the cute, angry boy named Louis for most of them.ORthe frozen yoghurt au in which harry accidentally accuses louis of wanting to date a 5 year old and louis keeps calling frozen yoghurt ice cream





	The Weirdest Bloody Ice Cream Shop

**Author's Note:**

> um i'm not british so this probably reads unnaturally to british people. i tried but we use very different english. it feels so weird to write yoghurt (in my head i pronounce it yog - hurt rather than yo - gert). 
> 
> anyway i've wanted to write a frozen yogurt/yoghurt au for a long time (originally I'd envisioned it as a lilo au, which i may write one day. it followed a very different storyline than this) so i hope u enjoy it! it's not long but whatever <333

“Mate, I’ve got to ask you – do people really put fruit on their ice cream as toppings?” 

Harry startled at the raspy question directed his way. He looked up from the article he’d been reading on his phone about the benefits of power naps. He may have dozed off as he read. 

The boy – man? – that had asked the question was quite handsome. Harry blinked a couple of times as he processed his question. 

“Um, well – I assume so. But this…this is frozen yoghurt, not ice cream.” 

Harry watched as the young man pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut. He looked frustrated. 

“ – Not ice cream, swear to God above I can’t – ,” the young man huffed under his breath. Harry swallowed nervously. “In that case, do people really put fruit on their frozen yoghurt?” 

Harry nodded before he spoke. “Yes, they do. I think they like it, otherwise we’d not order so much of it.” 

Harry was slightly impressed by the eye roll the young man gave him in response. He was also starting to get frustrated, as the young man clearly had a sour attitude and was taking it out on Harry.

“Lou, drop it.” 

Harry’s attention was diverted toward the young woman that stood beside this young man – Lou, apparently – for the first time. She looked a bit younger than Lou, with hair so blonde it looked gray. Perhaps it was actually gray. She was pretty. 

Lou looked at the young woman. “Lottie, you have to agree that this is an abomination.” 

Harry watched interestedly as Lottie rolled her eyes in a manner reminiscent of Lou. Perhaps they were siblings. 

“Lou, the only abominable thing here is you with that attitude, frankly.” 

Harry grinned as Lou sputtered. 

“They’ve got fruit and candy toppings, just put on some crumbly chocolate so we can pay and stop making a scene.” 

Harry liked her. 

Lou did as he was instructed and scooped a ridiculously large portion of chocolate shavings onto what appeared to be brownie batter flavored fro-yo. Harry internally wept for the strawberries that would’ve been utterly delicious with that flavor. 

Lou and Lottie walked toward the register and set their cups of frozen down in front of Harry. 

“Um, sorry, but could you put those on the scale there?” Harry asked as he pointed toward the slim, silver scale to his left. 

“The what?” Lou asked, likely confused about what Harry meant. 

Harry pointed again and said, “Just there, the scale. I have to weigh your yoghurt.” 

Lou’s eyes widened as he obediently moved the cups onto the scale. Without a hint of malice but rather a combination of genuine confusion and bewilderment, Lou said, “This is the weirdest bloody ice cream shop I’ve ever been to.” 

Harry squawked. Really, he did. He slapped a hand over his mouth and felt himself turn bright red as Lou and Lottie stared at him. It wasn’t that funny, but the way he said it and the expression on his face was just…amusing. And cute. Lou grinned wickedly. 

Harry shook it off and watched as the register converted the weight of the frozen yoghurt into pounds. Their yoghurt ultimately totaled £8, but Harry felt generous and still a little embarrassed from his outburst. 

“Looks like it’s going to be on the house for you two today,” Harry said, hoping they would take their yoghurt and go so he could sulk in peace about how embarrassing he was. 

Lottie accepted the gift for what it was and said, “Thanks!” in a voice much brighter than earlier. 

Lou was suspicious, as Harry gathered from his narrowed eyes and pursed lips. “Why?” 

Harry made eye contact with Lou and noticed his eyes were very blue. “Well…” Harry started. “Because you have the same name as this shop. It’s a shop rule that everyone named Lou gets free fro-yo.” 

Lou's lips turned up very slightly at each end. He was rather pretty when he wasn’t yelling at Harry. 

“Neat rule,” Lou said. “Too bad my name is Louis.” And with that Louis (not Lou) shoved a £10 note in the tip jar and walked out of Lou’s Frozen Yoghurt with his probable sister. Probably forever. 

Harry sighed and looked at his watch. He had two hours left before he could close up, and, as it would turn out, he thought about the cute, angry boy named Louis for most of them. 

*

“I have a question.” 

Harry popped his head up from behind the counter where he had been trying to reach a box of spoons in the very back corner of the cabinet. He was about five seconds away from just crawling inside to grab it, and was grateful for the interruption. 

It was Lou. Or Louis, not Lou. “Oh. Hi.” Harry said a bit dumbly.

Louis smiled and Harry watched as his eyes crinkled. “Hi. I have a question about your product.” 

Harry ambled up quickly and adjusted his apron. He was a bit flustered and was sure Louis could tell. “What’s up, mate? Anything I can help you with?” If that was too eager, Harry couldn’t tell. 

Louis continued to smile for a moment before he fixed his face into what Harry hoped was a faux stern expression rather than a genuine stern expression. “Let’s say – hypothetically of course – that I wanted to get fruit on my ice cream. I’m not saying that I will, but if I were to, what would you recommend?” 

“It’s frozen yogurt, not ice cream,” Harry corrected automatically and then gulped. 

Louis shrugged. “Po-tay-toh, Po-tah-toh. Can you give me recommendations or no?” 

Harry nodded enthusiastically. “I’d be happy to! Did you want to sample any of the flavors? It might help while I’m explaining things.”

Louis acquiesced. “If you say so.” 

Harry walked out from behind the counter and made sure to grab a stack of sample cups so Louis could try any and everything. 

“Which of these flavors have you tried?” 

Louis shrugged again. “Just the brownie one.” 

Harry glanced toward the brownie batter flavor. “Okay. Awesome. I’ve found that one to be good with strawberries or raspberries. Our red fruits! But we don’t have apples here – another red fruit – though that would be good, I think. I can’t imagine how we could keep them from browning though…” Harry trailed off as he realized he was rambling about apples. He missed Louis’ gentle smile because he was a little too shy to look at him. Harry cleared his throat and continued. “Anyway, I tend to like the original with no added sugar. I put kiwi in it, and I think that’s good. But it is a little tart, so you have to like tartness if you try something like that. Our cheesecake flavor might be good with any of the fruits, but I would personally pick strawberries for that. Or blackberries, actually.” 

Louis seemed to catch everything Harry said. Which, naturally, only encouraged Harry to ramble more. 

“I think it would be hard for you to go wrong if you put any kind of fruit on the vanilla or chocolate flavors. Although…I don’t really like chocolate flavored frozen yogurt, so I probably wouldn’t pick that at all. But…yeah,” Harry trailed off awkwardly. “What do you think?” 

“Well honestly, I think it’s a travesty that you don’t like chocolate ice cream. Shameful, truly shameful.” 

Harry blushed. “I don’t like that either.” 

Louis quirked his head, confused at what Harry meant. 

“Chocolate ice cream, you said. I said I don’t like chocolate frozen yogurt, but…it’s the same general idea, so…” 

Louis rolled his eyes good-naturedly, Harry assumed (hoped). “Well, mate. You’ve certainly given me a lot to think about. Thanks for your help.”

Harry was not the least bit surprised to see Louis’ cup of chocolate frozen yoghurt filled to the brim with chocolate crumbles and gummy bears as he set it on the scale. Louis grinned cheekily as Harry observed it and shook his head in mock disappointment. Louis laughed; Harry subtly preened. 

Louis paid for his frozen yoghurt officially this time and pocketed his change (though Harry missed him slip a fiver into the tip jar). Louis looked at Harry and smiled. “Thanks, Curly! See you next time!” 

Harry grinned. “Bye, Louis.” 

If anything Louis’ smile only got wider. Harry continued to smile through the rest of his shift. Even after he realized he never let Louis sample any of the flavors. 

*

“I didn’t see you the last time I stopped by.” 

Harry twirled around, narrowly avoiding a catastrophe involving the broom in his hands, the floor, and his face. “Sorry?” 

Louis walked toward the counter. “I didn’t see you last time. Was a blonde woman working instead.” 

Harry nodded in recognition. “Lou.” 

Louis raised an eyebrow. “Curly.” 

Harry flushed. “No, not you. The blond woman here, I’m guessing it was Lou. She owns the place.” 

Understanding dawned on Louis’ face. “I see. She seemed cool. Had some wicked tattoos.” 

Harry nodded in agreement, though he was suddenly struck with the thought that Louis might be…interested…in Lou. “Yep. She’s great. Also married. To a guy named Tom. They have a daughter.” Harry cringed at how utterly unsmooth he was. 

Louis smirked. “Interesting. How old is their daughter?” 

Harry narrowed his eyes. “She’s five, so…you can’t date her, if that’s what you’re after.” 

Louis’ eyes got bigger than Harry had ever seen them. (Though they’ve only seen each other twice before, so Harry didn’t have much knowledge of Louis’ full range of eye-openness and what not.). “I don’t want to date her!” Louis nearly shouted, fully offended by the implication. 

Harry startled at Louis’ tone. “Well she’s a lovely girl, she’s just too young!” He said back, equally offended. 

Louis stared at Harry in complete shock for about ten seconds before bursting into laughter. Harry was confused, though he chuckled too, quieter and still a bit suspicious. 

“Mate. Curly. That was ridiculous. I don’t want to date a 5 year old. I never have wanted to, and I certainly never will. I was just trying to make conversation, you know, like people do sometimes?” 

Harry blushed and nodded, completely relieved that Louis didn’t want to date a 5 year old. Of course he didn’t want to date a 5 year old, why would Harry even assume that? Now Louis probably doesn’t want to date Harry, which, he is now realizing, he kind of wants. Bummer. 

“Yep. Conversation. We can do that.” Harry encouraged. “Lux, their daughter, is 5 years old. She’s awesome. She loves football and silly putty, and a lot of other things.” 

Louis nodded. “Football is great, silly putty is okay. She sounds cool. Are you her uncle or something?” 

“In an unofficial capacity, yes, I’m her uncle,” Harry replies. He frowns slightly. “Lou keeps trying to get her to call me Uncle Knobhead.” 

Louis chuckles. “You can’t get mad about nicknames that are true, Curly. Pretty sure that’s a widely known rule.” 

Harry gasped. “Excuse me? You think I’m a knobhead?” 

Louis gave him a flat look. “You accused me of wanting to date a 5 year old. You’re a bit of a knobhead, mate.” 

Harry considered that and nodded sheepishly. “You might be onto something, Louis.” 

Louis smiled. Ten minutes later he walked out with a cup full of nothing but miniature peanut butter cups. 

*

“Curly, what is your name and why is the shop always empty when I stop by?” 

Harry, who for the first time in all of his meetings with Louis, was not blindsided by this question, said, “My name is Harry but I like it when you call me Curly.” Harry blushed, as he may not have meant to say that part out loud. Maybe he was a bit blindsided. “I think the shop is empty because of you. You must smell.” 

Louis cried out indignantly, “Oi, Harold, that’s just unkind. I’ve showered at least once this week already!” 

Harry grinned. “Louis, it’s Friday.” 

Louis winked at him and said, “I’ve at least put on deodorant today and honestly,” Louis delicately sniffed the air around him, “it seems that I’m the only one of us who did.” 

Harry laughed incredulously. “Pal, not only have I put on deodorant, but I’ve also showered today. If anyone here smells, it’s gotta be you.” 

Louis nodded his head once. “Fair play, Curly. Must be me, then. I better be off, actually, I don’t want to stink up your shop.” Louis quickly spun around and started walking toward the door. 

Harry laughed and blurted, “But! But…Louis, you didn’t get any fro-yo!” 

Louis spun back around, and Harry found he was getting dizzy watching. Louis smiled. “Can’t have that, can we, Curly?” 

Harry smiled. “We absolutely cannot.” 

Louis stayed for an hour this time and tried every single flavor of frozen yoghurt – at Harry’s insistence. To make up for the day Harry promised him samples but forgot to actually deliver on that promise, of course. Not because Harry wanted to keep him around longer so he could get to know him better, or something. 

Louis left empty handed but promised to come back after the weekend. Harry, for the first time in a long time, was excited for a Monday. 

*

Louis became a regular fixture at Lou’s. Their luck didn’t last in that he occasionally showed up during large rushes of customers, ultimately preventing him from talking to Harry. But sometimes they got lucky, and were left with a mostly empty shop in which they could chat and laugh and get to know each other. About two months after Louis first made an appearance at Lou’s, Harry considered them friends. 

He just wanted to make sure Louis was on the same page. 

“Louis?” Harry hesitantly said. 

“Yeah, love?” 

And, oh yeah. That’s a thing. Louis calls him love and it makes him blush every single damn time. More people than Harry can count call him love, but when Louis does it…oh boy. 

“We’re friends…right?” 

Louis looked up from his cup of yoghurt where he had been scooping up chocolate shavings from the bottom. “Um, yeah. What are you on about?” 

Harry grinned. “Cool.” 

Louis snorted and rolled his eyes. “So bloody weird, mate. Are we friends? Why else would I buy all of this ice cream?” 

“Frozen yogurt,” Harry corrected. Louis gave him a look that Harry couldn’t interpret. Was it annoyed, frustrated, endeared? Harry had no idea, but Louis was still sitting in the chair Harry had pulled behind the counter for him, so it must not have been too bad. 

“Whatever. Of course we’re friends. Why do you ask?” 

Harry shrugged. “No reason really. I just wanted to make sure that we were.” 

Louis laughed. “Again: So. Bloody. Weird.” 

Harry pouted. He stuck out his bottom lip way farther than was comfortable and looked at Louis with the saddest eyes he could muster. It was difficult to manage as Harry’s heart was entirely too full of affection for this boy. 

“Oh no, Curly. Don’t give me that face. If you don’t pull that lip back in, I’m literally going to yank it off of you. Your mum wouldn’t be too chuffed with me.” 

At the mention of his mum, Harry sucked his lip back in. “My mum already likes you.” 

It would be out of character for Harry to keep his thoughts private. That’s how he justifies his refusal to be embarrassed by sharing this particular truth with Louis. 

Louis quirked an eyebrow at Harry. “Really?”

Harry nodded and grinned, trying to remain cool while revealing to his new friend that he often talks to his mom about him. “I’ve mentioned you to her before. I keep telling her this weird guy is stalking me at the shop, but she has yet to call the police. I’m starting to doubt her love for me.” 

Louis leaned as far as he could while remaining seated on the stool just so he could gently whack Harry on the arm. “You are honestly such a shit. You seem so sweet at first and then suddenly you’re the world’s knobbiest knob.” 

Harry smiled innocently. “Wow, Louis, you sure do like to talk about my knob a lot…”

And at that Louis hopped off the chair with what can only be described as a battle cry. Harry ran and Louis chased, both laughing too hard to properly breathe. Harry wanted to kiss him really, really, very badly. 

By the time Louis left he had dried frozen yoghurt in his hair and zero kisses from Harry. 

Harry intended to change that soon. 

*

How does one transition from friends to boyfriends? 

The Internet didn’t help Harry much. Every result he found suggested he tell Louis how he felt. Harry wanted to do exactly the opposite of that. In a perfect world Louis would figure it out on his own and the two of them would live happily ever after. 

“You just need to tell him, Haz. The worst thing that could happen is he says ‘fuck you’ and you lose a friend. That’s genuinely the worst way this could end.” 

Harry shrugged. “You’re right. But I’m too nervous! I like him as my friend but I want to like him as my boyfriend. I don’t want him to say ‘fuck you’ to me.” On a list of things Harry didn’t want, this is very much near the top. Out of nowhere, Harry’s feelings for Louis had shifted from “relatively harmless crush” to “I have actual feelings for you and I think I might want a future with you.” Harry was pretty fucked. 

Lou laughed. “Harry, with the amount of money this lad has spent on frozen yoghurt in the last two months, there’s no way he’s not at least half in love with you.” 

Harry’s stomach flipped. “Don’t say that! You’ll jinx it.” 

Lou sighed as she got up from the couch where the two of them sat. “Alright, love. I’m going to make sure Tom isn’t jumping on the bed with Lux instead of reading her a bedtime story, I’ll be back in a mo’.” 

Harry nodded. “Alright. Do you want me to put the kettle on?” 

“That’d be lovely, ta!” Lou called from the stairs. 

Harry got up, his knees cracking as he stood. He stretched his arms up and breathed in deeply before walking to the kitchen to prepare the tea.  
Maybe he should just buck up and tell Louis how he feels. 

Yeah, right. Harry was too chicken to just say it outright.  
Similar, in a way, to how Louis was too chicken to try fruit with his frozen yoghurt. 

*

Harry didn’t really believe in universal signs until this moment. 

This moment happens to involve Louis and a cup of frozen yoghurt topped with kiwi. 

Harry was shocked, so to speak. He looked at Louis with wide eyes and couldn’t even manage to hear Louis speak to him. 

“What?” He asked dumbly. 

Louis smiled. “I said, Curly, that today seemed like the perfect day to try your fruity yoghurt.” 

Harry gaped for another few seconds. “Fruity – yoghurt? You called it yoghurt! And there’s fruit on it!” 

Louis continued to smile at Harry. “Yes, Harold. Fruity yoghurt. Are you alright, mate?” 

Harry stared. And then he spoke. 

“Yeah, Lou. I’m great. I just…this is so shocking to me.” 

Louis giggled and honestly, Harry was about to burst. 

“Well, I can’t imagine it’ll taste better than candy, but it’s worth a shot.” 

It’s worth a shot. 

Harry found the courage to say to Louis exactly what he’d wanted to for over two months. 

“Louis…I like you a lot and I would like to take you on a date sometime. If you want.” Harry said without a single vocal quiver. 

It was Louis’ turn to stare at Harry. The more seconds that passed the less confident Harry became. 

“I mean…of course, if you want. If you don’t want, I’m happy to be your friend. Really happy, actually,” Harry said quickly. “You’re an awesome friend, I just think I might want more. I think you’re cute and funny and you make my days better when I see you…so just…think about it? Maybe? Or don’t.” 

Louis shook his head rapidly, and Harry thought he might be saying no and felt his stomach drop. Before he could speak, however, Louis chimed in with a reply that replaced all the doubt in Harry’s heart with pure joy. 

“Harry, I have spent almost £200 in the last two months on a weird ice cream knockoff just to hang out with you. I’d be so stupidly happy to go on a date with you,” Louis said earnestly. 

Harry sighed sweetly and smiled at Louis so hard his cheeks hurt. 

“There is one condition, though,” Louis insisted. 

Harry nodded. “Name it.” 

Louis grinned. “No fucking fruit, please. I think this,” he gestured toward his cup of melting yoghurt and fruit, “should tide me over for the next couple of years.” 

Harry chuckled and made a sound of disagreement. “Well, we’ll see. I can’t promise anything.” Harry winked. 

Louis laughed. “And no yoghurt, either. I think I’ve eaten more in the last two months than I have in my entire life.” 

Harry frowned. “You’re kind of insulting my career right now, you realize, talking badly about both fruit and yoghurt.” 

Louis nodded. “Yes, I realize. Will you allow me to make it up to you this weekend? I have a great idea for our first date.” 

Harry loved the implication that there would be more than one date. “I suppose that can be arranged.” 

*

That weekend when Harry noticed that Louis brought him to an ice cream shop for their first date, he was so endeared he felt like his entire body was made up of fizzy pop rock candy. 

And when they returned to that very same shop 3 years later on their anniversary, they accidentally proposed to each other. They both said yes.

**Author's Note:**

> hope u liked it! let me know if u did in the comments! let me know if u didnt in the comments! just like....talk to me if u want lol


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